Uphononongo olwenziwa ngu IYunivesithi yaseWake Forest uye wagqiba ekubeni ukuba unengcamango elungileyo yabanye abantu, yakho izikhombisi zolonwabo iya kuba phezulu kakhulu. Oku kufunyenweyo kuxhasa uluvo lokuba indlela esibajonga ngayo abanye ibonakalisa imeko yethu yeemvakalelo kunye nokuba sempilweni ngokwasengqondweni.
Kutheni ukugxeka abanye kukwenza ungonwabi?
Xa Sihlala sigxeka kwabanye abantu, sidala isangqa se-negativity echaphazela abanye kunye nathi. Ukugxekwa okutshabalalisayo kudla ngokuba yimbonakaliso ye ukungaqiniseki kunye nokuphazamiseka komntu, kwaye usebenza njengomqobo ekukhuleni kunye noqhagamshelwano phakathi kwabantu.
Umba ophambili kukuba abantu abane- imbono engalunganga Abanye bahlala bebonisa iingxaki zeemvakalelo ezifana nokuxhalaba, uxinzelelo kunye, kwezinye iimeko, ukudandatheka. Uphando lubonise ukuba abo bachitha ixesha elininzi begweba abanye badla ngokungonwabi xa bethelekiswa nabo banembono eyakhayo nenovelwano.
Impembelelo yokugxekwa kwimpilo yengqondo
Ukugxekwa rhoqo akuchaphazeli nje kuphela imbono yethu ngehlabathi, kodwa nakwimpilo yethu yengqondo kunye nendlela esinxulumana ngayo nabanye. Xa umntu esenza ukugxeka okutshabalalisayo, kuyakhupha iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ezifana nomsindo, ukudakumba kunye nengqumbo, echaphazela imvisiswano yendawo yabo yentlalo.
Ngaphaya koko, ukugxekwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunokudala imeko eyityhefu kwintlalontle, emsebenzini kunye nakumaqela eentsapho. Ukuba kukho ukugxekwa kakubi kwindawo ethile, abantu bathanda ukuziva bengaxabisekanga, nto leyo enciphisa ukuzithemba kwaye inokuchaphazela ukusebenza kwabo okanye ukuzithemba kwabo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, Abantu abangenelela kuphela ukugxeka Bathanda ukuvelisa ukwaliwa kunye nokudeleka kwisangqa sabo sentlalo, kuba isimo sabo sengqondo sibonwa njengesibi kwaye siyadinisa.
Ukugxeka okwakhayo vs. ukugxeka okutshabalalisayo
Asikuko konke ukugxeka okuyingozi. Kukho umahluko ophambili phakathi kokugxekwa eyakhayo kunye etshabalalisayo. Eyokuqala ifuna ukukhula nokuphucuka, ngelixa eyesibini ijonge ukungafaneleki okanye ukuhlazisa omnye umntu.
- Ukugxeka okwakhayo: Kwenziwa ngobuchule, ngenjongo yokunceda omnye umntu aphucule. Ngokuqhelekileyo kubandakanya izisombululo okanye iingcebiso zokutshintsha.
- Ukugxekwa okutshabalalisayo: Yeyona igxile kuphela kwiimpazamo okanye kwimiba engalunganga ngaphandle kokunika izisombululo. Isenokuba yimbonakaliso yokukhupha umoya okanye indlela yokwenzakalisa umntu ngabom.
Kwazi uku Yahlula phakathi kwezi ntlobo zombini zokugxeka kunye nokwenza ngovelwano kungenza umahluko omkhulu kubudlelwane bethu kunye nokuphila kakuhle.
Indlela yokuyeka ukugxeka abanye
Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ugxeka kakhulu okanye ukugxeka kuyingxenye yobomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, kukho iindlela zokutshintsha lo mkhwa. Apha sikunika ezinye izicwangciso ezisebenzayo Ukunciphisa ukugxekwa okutshabalalisayo kunye nokukhuthaza imeko-bume entle ngakumbi:
- Ziqhelanise novelwano: zama ukuzifaka ezihlangwini zomnye umntu ngaphambi kokuba wenze isigwebo. Zibuze ukuba zeziphi izinto ezinokuba nefuthe kwindlela abaziphatha ngayo.
- Gxininisa kwizinto ezilungileyo: Kunokuba ubonise iimpazamo okanye iintsilelo, zama ukukhangela okulungileyo kuye wonke umntu nakwimeko.
- Cinga ngaphambi kokuba uthethe: Ngaphambi kokuba uthethe into embi ngomntu othile, zibuze enoba kuyimfuneko ngokwenene na ukuyikhankanya nendlela enokumchaphazela ngayo omnye umntu.
- Phucula ukuzithemba kwakho: ukuzijongela phantsi Isenokuba sesinye sezizathu zokuba ugxeke abanye. Ukusebenzela ukuzithemba kwakho kunokunciphisa umnqweno wokuzithelekisa nabanye.
- Ziphephe iimeko ezingqongileyo ezingalunganga: Ukuba ungqongwe ngabantu abasoloko begxeka, kusenokwenzeka ukuba nawe uwe kolu tshintsho. Zijikeleze ngabantu abalungileyo nabakhuthazayo.
Amandla okucinga okulungileyo
Ukucinga okulungileyo sisixhobo esinamandla sokutshintsha indlela esibabona ngayo abanye kunye nathi. Xa siyeka ukunikel’ ingqalelo kwiimpazamo nakwiziphoso zabanye, siqalisa ukuphawula iinkalo ezintle ezingakumbi ezisingqongileyo, ezifak’ isandla ngokuthe ngqo kwimpilo-ntle yethu yeemvakalelo.
Ngokutshintsha imbono yethu, nathi siqala ukuvelisa a ububele kunye nesimo sengqondo sokuqonda ngakumbi. Oku akuxhamli kuphela ubudlelwane bethu bobuqu, kodwa kunye nempilo yethu yengqondo ngokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo.
Kuyenzeka ukuba sihlaziye iingcinga zethu kwaye endaweni yokugxeka, sifunde ukuvakalisa izimvo zethu ngendlela eyakhayo. Ngale ndlela, sikhuthaza imekobume enempilo nevisisanayo.
Ukugxekwa kunokuba nempembelelo enkulu kakhulu kubomi bethu nakubomi babanye kunokuba sicinga. Ukwamkela isimo esinovelwano ngakumbi kusivumela ukuba siphucule ubudlelwane bethu, someleze impilo yethu yeemvakalelo kwaye senze imeko-bume entle ngakumbi. Ukuba siyayitshintsha indlela esilijonga ngayo ihlabathi kunye nabo basingqongileyo, siya kunandipha ubomi obanelisayo nobanelisayo.
Okokugqibela, sikushiya ngevidiyo enomdla ejongana nesi sihloko ngokwembono ehlekisayo: