Ndicebisa umceli mngeni namhlanje, ukuba unqwenela, unokwandisa ixesha elide: zama ukuthetha inyaniso kuzo zonke iimeko, chaza ngokuthe ngqo into oyicingayo kwaye wenze ngokufanelekileyo. Nangona kubonakala kunengqiqo, sonke siye sathetha ubuxoki obuncinane ngexesha elithile emini. Ezi zisenokususela kumbuliso olula othi “molweni kusasa” ngokuchwayithayo ukuya kuloo mntu ekunzima ukumnyamezela, ekuphepheni ukwabelana ngezimvo eziyinyaniso ukuze singoni.
Kodwa kutheni sibhenela kwezi zimo zengqondo? Ubukhulu becala, ezi zenzo zisabela kwindlela yokwenza ukusinda kwentlalo. Abantu baye bafunda ukuba, kwiimeko ezithile, i ukunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo Inokuba nemiphumo yentlalo okanye yeemvakalelo esikhetha ukuyiphepha. Nangona kunjalo, makhe siqwalasele ingcamango yokunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo: yintoni esiya kuphulukana nayo kwaye, ngaphezu kwayo yonke, yintoni esiya kuzuza ngayo?
Ubuso obuphindiweyo bokunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo
Ukuba besinobukroti bokunyaniseka nge-100%, amathuba okuba ubudlelwane bethu phakathi kwabantu bungatshintsha kakhulu. Sisenokulahlekelwa ngabahlobo, sidale ukruthakruthwano entsatsheni size sijamelane neengxabano emsebenzini. Oku kungenxa yokuba amaxesha amaninzi a ubuxoki obumhlophe okanye ukushiywa koluvo oluthe ngqo kunokuthambisa iimeko zemihla ngemihla nokugcina imvisiswano.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuyeka ubudlelwane obuphezulu kunokuvula umnyango wobutyebi obubaluleke ngakumbi: ukunyaniseka kokwenyani, kuthi nakwabanye. Oku kunyaniseka kusenza sikwazi ukuseka amaqhina okwenene nanzulu, asekelwe kubunyani nentlonipho.
Yintoni esenza sikuxabise kangaka ukunyaniseka?
Kwimeko yam yobuqu, ukunyaniseka ngumgaqo endiwuxabisa kakhulu. Kubo bonke ubomi bam, ndiye ndahlakulela utyekelo ubudlelwane bokwenyani kunye nobungcali. Nangona oku kubangele ukuba ndingabi “ngoluntu” ngokukodwa ngokwengqiqo yemveli, abantu endinxibelelana nabo babelana ngogqaliselo lwam ekunyanisekeni, nto leyo ekhuthaza imekobume yokuthembeka nokungafihlisi.
Le ndlela yokuphila indivumele ukuba ndenze ngokuhambelana nemilinganiselo kunye nezimvo zam, ngaphandle kokuziva ndinesidingo sokuzifihla ukuba ndingubani okanye into endiyicingayo. Nangona abanye banokuyithatha njengendlela yokuzahlula ekuhlaleni, ndikhetha ukutolika le ndlela njengokuzinikela kumgangatho ngaphezu kobuninzi kubudlelwane bam.
Ngaba ukunyaniseka nge-100% kusoloko kufanelekile?
Ukunyaniseka kunemida yako. Iingcali zengqondo ziye zahlalutya indlela ukunyaniseka okugqithisileyo kunokubangela iingxaki ezininzi kuneenzuzo kwezinye iimeko. Ngokomzekelo, uMarianne Dainton, unjingalwazi wezonxibelelwano, ubalaselisa oko uninzi lwezibini ezinyanisekileyo Abasoloko bonwabile. Ngokutsho kwezifundo zabo, ukushiywa kweqhinga okanye ubuxoki obumhlophe kunokusebenza njengezixhobo zokukhusela kubudlelwane, ukunceda ukuphepha iingxabano ezingeyomfuneko.
Enyanisweni, isazi ngengqondo uEsteban Cañamares sithi “ukuxoka kuyinto eqhelekileyo kubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla,” yaye kunokuba yingenelo logama nje kungenzi ngozi okanye kufuna ukuxhaphaza abanye. Ke ngoko, ukufumana ulungelelwaniso phakathi kokunyaniseka kunye amagama alinganisiweyo inokubaluleka njengokunyaniseka ngokwayo.
Imingeni yokunyaniseka ngokugqithisileyo
- Jongana nenyaniso yokuba asingabo bonke abantu abafuna ukuva inyaniso.
- Umngcipheko wokubonwa njengequbuliso okanye ongenaluvelwano.
- Inokwenzeka yokungaqondani okanye iingxabano ezingeyomfuneko.
Ukujongana nale mingeni, kuluncedo ukuphuhlisa izakhono ezifana uvelwano kunye nokuqina. Ezi zinto zisivumela ukuba sifumane iindlela zokunyaniseka ngaphandle kokubangela umonakalo, sidlulisela iingcamango zethu ngendlela eyakhayo nenentlonelo.
Kuthetha ukuthini ngokwenene “ukuba nguwe”?
Ekupheleni kosuku, ukunyaniseka kwe-100% akukhona nje ukuthetha inyani ngamaxesha onke, kodwa malunga nokuthembeka kwimilinganiselo yethu kunye nemigaqo. Oku kubandakanya ukufunda uku lawula iimvakalelo oluvelayo xa sijamelene okanye sifumana iinyaniso, kwanokwakha ulwalamano olusekelwe kwintlonelo nokuqondana.
Ngelixa kunokubonakala ngathi ukukhetha ukunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo kusenza sibe “zii-weirdos” kuluntu olugcweleyo. izinto ezisesikweni kunye neengqungquthela, olu khetho ekugqibeleni luyimbonakaliso yenkululeko yomntu. Ngokuphila ngale ndlela, sifumana into exabiseke gqitha: uxolo lwengqondo lokunyaniseka.
Ukuphonononga ibhalansi phakathi kokunyaniseka kunye nokunqweneleka koluntu kusikhokelela ekubeni sicinge ngohlobo lobudlelwane esifuna ukwakha kunye nendlela esifuna ngayo ukufaka isandla kwindawo yethu. Into ebalulekileyo kukuhambelana nathi kwaye sisoloko sifuna intlonipho kwabanye.