Uninzi lwabazali, okanye abo baza kuba ngabazali, bathandabuza kakhulu indlela yokufundisa umntwana okanye intombi; ekubeni ngowona msebenzi unzima abanawo kwaye ngowona uninzi lwabo lutyekele ekwenzeni iimpazamo. Akukho mntu ufezekileyo, kungekho nanye indlela yokufundisa okanye yokukhulisa umntwana ongaphezu kwabo bonke abanye. Noko ke, kukho okwahlukileyo iingcebiso zemfundo, ubuchule kunye neendlela kwi uphuhliso olunentlalo-ntle enokukukhokela ekunikeni imfundo efanelekileyo, nto leyo esiza kuthetha ngayo ngokulandelayo.
Funda indlela yokukhulisa abantwana bakho ngokufanelekileyo
Into yokuqala esinokukuxelela ukuba ungayibaxi ngemfundo yabo; kuhle ukuba sizixhalabise kangangoko sinako, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha siye sithande ukugqithisa ulawulo kunye neemfuno kwaye sifezekisa iziphumo ezichaseneyo (yiloo nto sifuna ukuyiphepha): umonzakalo, uloyiko olukhulu, kunye nokungqubana ngokweemvakaleloNgenxa yesi sizathu, siya kuqala ngemiba ethile ofanele uyiqwalasele ngaphambi kokuba uqalise (okanye uphonononge) imfundo yabantwana bakho.
Kutheni le nto ungakhathazeki okanye uzixakekise kakhulu?
- Ukuba uzama kakhulu, awuzukubathintela ekufumaneni umonzakalo okanye ukuphazamiseka. Ngaphaya koko, uloyiko oluqhubekayo loku kwenzeka lunokubangela ukuba baphuhlise iingxaki ezifanayo. ngqongqo, igunya, okanye ukuziphatha ngokugqithisileyo nto leyo, ngokumangalisayo, yandisa umngcipheko wezo ziphumo. Ngaphandle kogxininiso olukhulu lwentlalo olubekwe kubuzali (owaziwa ngokuba bazali (ngesiNgesi), iingxaki zeemvakalelo nezokuziphatha azikapheli; ke ngoko, ukuphiliswa kommangaliso akukho. Nangona kunjalo, iingcebiso esiza kukunika zona kamva ziya kukunceda ukunciphisa amathuba okwenzakala kunye nokuphucula impilo-ntle yabo.
- Ngokutsho kwezifundo ezininzi, ukulindela izinto ngokugqibeleleyo okanye ukuxhalaba ngokugqithiseleyo xa ukhulisa umntwana akuthethi ukuphucula indlela yokuziphatha kunye nempilo yengqondo. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ukuba ngumzali kufana neyeza: kufuna... idosi efanelekileyo yengqalelo, imithetho, kunye nothando ukufezekisa iziphumo ezilungileyo, kodwa ukuba uyakwandisa ngokugqithiseleyo uya kwandisa imiphumo emibi kunye neengxaki (ixhala, ityala, ukungakhuseleki, ukuxhomekeka).
- Kuyinto echaseneyo ukubeka iliso kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi babantwana bethu, ngakumbi xa bekwinqanaba eliphambili njengaphambi kokufikisa kunye nokufikisa. Ukuba uzama nzima kakhulu ukubakhulisa, uzama ukubagqibela yonke into, awuzukwazi ukuyitshintsha intsingiselo yabo. Bonke abantwana bahlukile kwaye abanakho ukuthanda okufanayo, ngoko ke ukuba abayithandi imidlalo okanye izifundo zepiyano, ungakhathazeki. Kukhethwa zixhase iimfuno zabo zokwenyani kunokunyanzela izinto esizithandayo ezihlangabezana nolindelo lwethu kuphela.
- Kwelinye icala, ukuba ukukhulisa umntwana akuyonto ubuyilindele, loo nto ayithethi kuthi lityala lakho. Ubuntu bomntwana, imeko-bume, abahlobo, isikolo namava akhe onke anendima ebalulekileyo. Indima yakho... ukunika indawo ekhuselekileyo, enentlonipho kunye nokungaguquguqukiyo, akuqinisekisi ngesiphumo esigqibeleleyo.
Zeziphi ezona mpazamo zixhaphakileyo xa ufundisa intombi okanye unyana?
Njengoko besesitshilo ngaphambilana, yonke inkqubo yobuzali ibandakanya iimpazamo, yaye awukhuselekanga kuzo xa ukhulisa umntwana, ekubeni ungafezekanga. Ngezantsi, siza kukubonisa ezinye zazo. Uninzi lweempazamo ezenziwa ngabazali ukuze ukwazi ukusebenza kuzo.
- Ukungaqondi iimpawu zabo ezintle kuyimpazamo enkulu. Maxa wambi sinikela ingqalelo kuphela kwiintsilelo zabo okanye kubuthathaka babo ukuze sibalungise, sityeshela iimpawu zabo ezintle. Le yingxaki enkulu, kuba kufuneka sigxile kuyo baqonde kwaye babethelele amandla abo kwaye uzame ukubanceda basebenzise kangangoko. Indumiso engqalileyo nenyanisekileyo yakha ukuzithemba.
- Enye yeengxaki eziqhelekileyo ukungamameli umntwana. Ngamanye amaxesha sicinga ukuba, ngenxa yokuba bebancinci, abanalo ilungelo lokuvakalisa izimvo zabo okanye ukunika uluvo lwabo. Nangona kunjalo, phulaphula ngenyameko Ukuqonda iimvakalelo neengcinga zabo kubalulekile ukuze ube nesimilo. Ufanele ubavumele ukuba baveze iimvakalelo zabo kwaye bakuxelele yonke into abayicingayo okanye abavakalelwa ngayo, ubaphulaphule ngomonde ngaphandle kokubagculela okanye ubajongele phantsi.
- Enye yeengxaki eziqhelekileyo yile bengabuhloneli ubuntu baboSihlala sicinga ukuba singababumba ngokomfanekiso wethu, sibenze bafane nomntakwabo, umntwana wommelwane, njalo njalo. Nangona kunjalo, umntwana ngamnye wahlukile, kunye nobuntu bakhe, isantya, kunye nendlela yokunxibelelana nehlabathi. Umsebenzi wezemfundo ubandakanya... ukukhapha loo mntu ngamnyehayi ngokuyicima.
- Musa ukunxibelelana Le ngenye yeempazamo ezinkulu, kuba kuya kuba nzima ukuba bavule ngezigaba ezifana nokufikisa okanye kwiimeko ezinzima ezinokuba nemiphumo emibi. Kufuneka uthethe naye kwaye uqinisekise ukuba uziva ekhululekile ukuthetha nawe, ngaphandle kokoyika ukugwetywa okanye ukungxoliswa ngayo yonke into.
Kukho ezinye iimpazamo ezinje nge ukhuseleko olugqithisileyo, uthelekiso, ukuzifica ngokugqithisileyo kunye nezinye ezininzi; kodwa sikhetha ukujongana nesihloko ngasinye ngokubanzi ngakumbi kwi Iingcebiso zokukhulisa unyana okanye intombi esiza kukubonisa apha ngezantsi, sidibanisa nokuba yintoni igalelo lesayikholoji yabantwana kunye nokuziphatha kakuhle.
Iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokukhulisa umntwana
Khokela ngomzekelo
Ngamanye amaxesha sicinga ukuba ukufundisa kwanele ukwenza abantwana bethu bafunde. Nangona kunjalo, akukho nto isebenzayo njenge... khokela ngomzekeloAbantwana baqalisa ukuzicingela kwasebancinane kakhulu, beqwalasela abazali babo. Ithoni yelizwi lakho, ulwimi lwakho lomzimba, kunye nendlela osabela ngayo imihla ngemihla kunempembelelo enkulu kunayo nayiphi na intetho.
Ukuba ufuna umntwana wakho afunde ukubulisa ngokufanelekileyo, angathuki, ahlonele imbeko yasetafileni, aqonde iimbopheleleko, okanye ahlonele nemithetho yendlela (yabantwana abadadlana), phakathi kwezinye izinto, ngoko umele ukwenze ngokwakho. Xa wena ngokwakho ubonisa intlonipho, ububele, ukunyaniseka nokuzeyisaBazifaka ngaphakathi ezi mpawu njengento yendalo.
Ngokufanayo, ukuba ubhenela ekungxoleni, kugonyamelo, okanye ekuthotyweni, isigidimi abasifumanayo kukuba le yindlela efanelekileyo yokucombulula iingxabano. Abantwana bafunda ngento ebizwa mirror neuronsAbantwana baxelisa oko bakubonayo, kungekhona oko baxelelwa ukuba bakwenze. Hlala uzibuza: "Ngaba le yindlela endifuna ukuba umntwana wam enze ngayo xa enomsindo okanye xa enengxaki?"
Isebenza njengomzekelo kwizinto ezilula, zemihla ngemihla: ukucela uxolo xa ungalunganga, ukubulela abantu ngezenzo ezincinci, ukuthetha ngembeko kwabanye, ukuphatha ukukhungatheka ngokuzola. Zonke izijekulo ngu a isifundo esithe cwaka oko kuya kubethelelwa ezingqondweni zabo.
Unxibelelwano luyintsika esisiseko
Sele siyichazile le njengenye yeempazamo ezinkulu. Unxibelelwano sisiseko salo naluphi na ulwalamano, nokuba luphakathi komzali nomntwana, izibini, okanye abahlobo. Ukukhulisa umntwana “kuba nditsho njalo” kunokusebenza okwethutyana, kodwa kuphelisa ukuthenjwa kwaye kuthintele ukukhula komntwana. ukugweba ngokuzimeleyo kunye nezakhono zengxoxo.
Ngoko ke, sicebisa oku kulandelayo:
- Thetha naye kwaye uchazeUkukwazi ukubona iintetho zomnye kuyindlela entle yokuqonda indlela umntu aziva ngayo kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Ngale ndlela, unokutsho xa benengxaki, ukuba kukho into ebakhathazayo, njalo njalo. Ukudibana kwamehlo kunye nokusondelana ngokomzimba (ukwehla kwinqanaba labo, ukubamba igxalaba) kukhuthaza unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo.
- Ungaze uyeke ukunxibelelana naxa ekhula. Kuxhomekeke kubuntu bakhe, unokurhoxa ngakumbi xa eqala ukutyhubela amaxesha anzima; kodwa ukuba usoloko ulapho kuye, mhlawumbi sisigaba nje sethutyana. Gcina izithuba zencoko yemihla ngemihla (ngexesha usitya, ngaphambi kokuba ulale, xa ubuya esikolweni) ngaphandle kweefowuni eziphathwayo okanye izikrini.
- Mbuze ukuba ucinga ntoni ngombandela othile okanye uluvo lwakhe. Uya kuzixabisa iingcinga zakhe kwaye umkhuthaze ukuba aziveze. Yiphephe imibuzo ethi ewe-okanye-hayi; sebenzisa imibuzo evulekileyo njengokuthi "Yeyiphi eyona nxalenye ilungileyo yosuku lwakho?" okanye "Ucinga ntoni ngento eyenzekileyo eklasini?"
- Funda ukumamela. Unxibelelwano asikokuthetha nje nawe; lithetha ngani nobabini. Phulaphula ngaphandle kokuphazamisa, ukuhlekisa, okanye ukungxamela ukunika isicombululo. Ngamanye amaxesha umntwana wakho ufuna nje ... ukuziva uqondwa kwaye uqinisekisiwe.
- Xa kukho ungquzulwano, chaza ingxaki, chaza indlela oziva ngayo, kwaye sebenzani kunye ukufumana izisombululoOku kufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba aqiqe, athethe, aze athabathe imbopheleleko, kunokuba athobele kuba nje esoyika ukohlwaywa.
Beka imida
Kukho imida kuyo yonke indawo, kunye nakwiimeko ezithile. Kufuneka ufundise umntwana wakho ukuba yintoni na loo mida ukuze bakwazi ukuhlengahlengisa ukuziphatha kwabo ngokuxhomekeke kwindawo kunye neemeko. Kunokuba ibe yinto embi, imida ecacileyo nengaguquguqukiyo iyanceda abantwana. ukhuseleko, ulwakhiwo kunye nereferensi.
- Kuya kufuneka umcacisele ukuba njani Iimpendulo kunye neemvakalelo zinxulumene nezenzo zabokananjalo umncede akuphephe ukuvumela olo nxibelelwano lukhokelele ekubeni agqithe imida. Asifuni ukuba angxole aze enze umsindo xa wena okanye utitshala emthethisa ngento ayenzileyo, umzekelo. Ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo ("Ndiyaqonda ukuba unomsindo") ngaphandle kokuthethelela ukuziphatha okungamkelekanga ("kodwa akulungile ukubetha xa unomsindo") ngundoqo.
- Xa ufunda ngendlela yokukhulisa umntwana, kufuneka njalo ndikufundise iziphumo zezenzo zakhoUmzekelo, ukungacoci emva kokudlala okanye ukungenzi umsebenzi wasekhaya. Iziphumo kufuneka zihambelane nokuziphatha (ukuba baphule into ngokungakhathali, kufuneka bancedise ukuyilungisa okanye ukuyihlawula), kwaye kufuneka balinganise kwaye bachazwe kwangaphambili xa kunokwenzeka.
- Unokubabandakanya ekumiseleni imithetho okanye izithethe zasekhaya. Umzekelo, ukukhetha imisebenzi yasekhaya abaza kunceda ngayo okanye ukuseta ixesha lokutya. Abantwana abathatha inxaxheba ekuthathweni kwezigqibo bayakhuthazeka ngakumbi zalisekisa oko bekuvunyelwene ngako kwaye baziva behlonelwa.
- Kuphephe ukungangqinelani: awukwazi ukohlwaya isimilo ngenye imini kwaye ungayihoyi elandelayo. Ukungaguquguquki akuthethi ukuba ungaguquguquki, kodwa kuthetha ukuba umntwana uyazi... ungalindela ntoni kuwe xa inqumla umda.
- Musa ukubhidanisa imida kunye nolawulo-melo. Unokuthi "hayi" nge ububele kunye nokuqina ngaxeshanyeNgaphandle kokukhwaza okanye ukuthotywa. Le yenye yeentsika zokuziphatha kakuhle.
Vumela ukuba kungalunganga
Sonke senze iimpazamo kwaye asiphumelelanga. Ingxaki kukuba sisoloko sicinga ukuba singabakhusela abantwana bethu ekungaphumelelini ngokubalela ukuba bangenzi izinto ezithile okanye sicombulule iingxaki zabo kubo. Nangona kunjalo, oku akunakwenzeka kwaye, ngaphezu koko, kuthintela amandla abo okufunda. yenza izigqibo kwaye wamkele iziphumo.
Umbono kukuba banokufunda ngokuzama nangempazamo, kodwa besazi ukuba banenkxaso yakho. Xa umntwana enze impazamo aze afumane a inkxaso enentloniphoUfunda okungakumbi kunaxa efumana isohlwayo kuphela okanye isifundo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kule meko, xa sikhulisa umntwana, sinokubenza ukuwa kuya kuba nzima kakhulu Ngamaxesha athile. Ngokubanika amacebiso ngendlela yokusingatha imeko, ebonisa ukuba kusenokubakho imiphumo, phakathi kwezinye izinto. Xa bengaphumeleli, baya kukwazi ukuba uchanekile kwaye, nangona bengenakukuvuma oko, baya kunikela ingqalelo ngakumbi kwiingcebiso obanika zona kwixesha elizayo.
Sincoma ukuba ungahlaseli ngamagqabaza amabi ukuzama ukumthintela ukuba angaphumeleli, kuba ukuba uyasilela, unokuthwala esi simo sengqondo kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo zobomi bakhe: ukoyika ukwenza iimpazamo, ukungazithembi, nokuthanda ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyoAmabinzana afana nelithi "uhlala usenza into engalunganga," "uyintlekele," okanye "awusoze wafunda" ayonakalisa ngokunzulu imbonakalo yabo. Endaweni yoko, unokuthi, "Ngeli xesha alihambanga kakuhle, yintoni onokuyenza ngokuhlukileyo kwixesha elizayo?"
Mkhuthaze kwaye ungamthelekisi nabanye
Sele sikhankanye ukuba impazamo enkulu kukuhlasela amanqaku amabi okanye ubuthathaka babo; oko ngokoqobo bekuya kufana nokubathelekisa nabanye, njengomntakwenu, umntwana wommelwane, okanye wena xa wawulingana nabo. Wonke umntwana wahlukile kwaye unezakhono zakhe, ngoko zama ukukhuthaza umntwana ukuphuhlisa amandla akhe kunye nokumnceda kubo nabuphi na ubunzima anokuba nabo; lo wokugqibela akuthethi ukuba umenzela yonke into, kodwa umnika izixhobo eziyimfuneko kunye nenkxaso.
- Sukusebenzisa amabinzana othelekiso anje 'ufana nonyana ka (imovie enjalo, apho kubonakala ukuba wonakele kwaye akanambulelo)Okanye 'Khangela udade wenu, uziphatha kakuhle.' La mabinzana akaphumeleli nje ukukhuthaza, kodwa nawo ... " Bavelisa inzondo kunye nokhuphiswano phakathi kwabantakwabo okanye abafundi ofunda nabo kwaye babethelele i Impembelelo yePygmalion.
- Kuphephe ukwenza izinto ngokubanzi ngazo zonke iindleko. Ukuba abantwana eklasini yakhe banokusingatha umsebenzi kwaye eyakho ayikwazi, mhlawumbi eso sifundo sinobuthathaka (oku ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka kwimidlalo okanye kwizibalo); ngoko ke, ungathatha amanyathelo asebenzayo ngakumbi, njengokumfaka ekufundiseni okanye ukunikela ixesha elingakumbi lokuziqhelanisa nokuzonwabisa ekhaya. Nangona kunjalo, khumbula ukuya kuyo yonke into ngokufanelekileyo, ugxininise kwinkqubela phambili yakhe. umzamo kunye nenkqubela phambili kwaye kungekhona kwisiphumo kuphela.
Qaphela ukuba unokuba ungalunganga
Mhlawumbi bekungafanelanga ukuba umthethise ngento ayenzileyo okanye umngxolise ngenye imini xa ubunoxinzelelo. Xa sikhulisa umntwana, zikwasinceda ukuba sizikhulise. Ngenxa yoko, kufuneka ufunde Zivume iimpazamo zakho uze ucele uxolo xa kuyimfuneko.
Oku akuyi kumenza azive engcono kuphela (ekubeni wayenyanisile ukuba ubungafanelanga ukuba umngxolise, umzekelo); kodwa uya kufunda nokuba sonke siyazenza iimpazamo yaye sinokuzilungisa, nto leyo eya kumnceda kakhulu ebomini bakhe. Uyamfundisa, ngokwenza oko Ukwenza impazamo akukwenzi umntu ombi.Kwaye into ebalulekileyo kukulungisa umonakalo, ufunde, kwaye uzame kwakhona.
Ngaphezu koko, xa uzihlonela kwaye ukhathalele impilo yakho yeemvakalelo (ngokufuna inkxaso, ukuphumla, kunye nokubeka imida), umthumelela umyalezo onamandla: kunempilo kuye ukuba enze okufanayo. Zinyamekele, zihloniphe, kwaye ucele uncedo. xa uyidinga.
Chitha ixesha elisemgangathweni
Xa singadluli ixesha elibalulekile Kubantwana bethu, bahlala befumana iindlela zokuziphatha ezingalunganga ukuze bafumane ingqalelo yethu. Ngoko ke kuya kufuneka ukuba uzilungiselele ngeyona ndlela ingcono, kungekhona nje ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo ezisisiseko, kodwa kwakhona chitha ixesha elisemgangathweni ne.
- Udinga ixesha lokuthetha okanye lokuncokola malunga nosuku enalo nobabini. Ezi zihlandlo zilula zencoko zomeleza i ukudibana ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uvumele ukuchongwa kwangethuba kweengxaki okanye iinkxalabo.
- Dlala naye, umse epakini, ube ne-ayisikrimu, wenze imisebenzi yezandla, okanye ubukele imuvi ekhaya. Into ebalulekileyo ayingomsebenzi ngokwawo, kodwa kukuba uyaluva uthando lwakho. ingqalelo kunye nobukho obukhoyo.
- Maxa wambi balufuna ngokwenene uncedo ngomsebenzi wabo wesikolo owenzelwa ekhaya; ngoxa kwezinye iimeko, ukuhlala nje nabo xa benemibuzo kuya kubenza bazive bekhululekile. Ukubakho kubo ngaphandle kokwenza umsebenzi wasekhaya kubo, kodwa ukuxhasa inkqubo, yindlela yokwenza inkxaso yeemvakalelo neyezemfundo.
- Indlela eyaziwa ngokuba yi "focusing attention" inokuba luncedo kakhulu: ixesha elifutshane xa uwedwa nomntwana wakho, ngaphandle kweziphazamiso, ugxile ekudlaleni okanye ukuthetha naye. Kumntwana, le mizuzu ikhethekileyo ixabisa ngaphezu kweeyure ezichithwe kunye ngelixa ujonge ifowuni yakho okanye usenza eminye imisebenzi.
Maninzi amathuba okuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni nabantwana bethu, maninzi kakhulu ukuba singawadwelisa. Undoqo kukucwangcisa ishedyuli yakho ukuze ubanike ixesha elininzi kangangoko (kodwa ngaphandle kokujikeleza phezu kwabo rhoqo). Ukuba umsebenzi wakho unzima, unokuchaza imeko kwaye ubabonise ukuba eli lixesha onokuthi unikele ngalo; kwakhona, musa ukulibala i unxibelelwano olunyanisekileyo xa ukhulisa umntwana.
Funda ukuthi "hayi" kwaye uphephe ukukunika konke
Enye yeengxaki eziqhelekileyo kukuba sikholisa ukuzalisa i-voids yethu yobuntwana ngabantwana bethu. Oku kuthetha ukuba ukuba besingenazo ezona zinto zokudlala zisemgangathweni nayo yonke into ebesiyifuna, ngoko sifuna umntwana wethu abe nazo. Ngaphandle kokuqonda, sinokuba ngabazali abanjalo Babhidanisa uthando nokuthenga okanye ukunika yonke into.
- Kuya kufuneka umbonise ixabiso lezinto kunye nomguduUkuba, umzekelo, ubathengela ifowuni entsha rhoqo xa belahlekelwa yiyo okanye iphuka, abayi kuliqonda ixabiso layo lokwenyani okanye bafunde ukunyamekela izinto zabo. Kungcono ukuseka imithetho ecacileyo ("ukuba uyalahleka, kuya kufuneka ulinde" okanye "kuya kufuneka ugcine inxalenye yesibonelelo sakho") kwaye unamathele kuyo.
- Awunakusoloko uthi EWE kuyo yonke into ayicelayo umntwana wakho. Esi simo sengqondo siya kubakhokelela ekubeni babe yinto eyaziwa ngokuba "yiyonakalisiwe." Ngokuqhelekileyo sikwenza oko ukuze siphephe ukugqabhuka kwabo okanye iimvakalelo ezimbi; kodwa ingxaki kukuba ngalo lonke ixesha wena okanye omnye umntu esala ukumnika okanye ukwenza oko akucelayo, uya kuziphatha kakubi. Kubalulekile ukuba bafunde nyamezela ukudakumba Sele ndiqonda ukuba akusiyo yonke into ekhawulezileyo.
Ukuthi “hayi” ngothando kodwa ngokungqongqo asikokuba ngqwabalala okanye ukubanda; kubafundisa ukuphila kwihlabathi elinemida nalapho iminqweno ayisoloko izalisekiswa ngoko nangoko. Obu buchule beemvakalelo buya kuba ngundoqo kuphuhliso lwabo. intlalontle kwixesha elizayo.
Fundisa ngembeko nangengqeqesho eyakhayo
Abazali abaninzi, xa bejamelene nokuziphatha okubi kwabantwana babo, ukucaphuka, okanye ukuthetha emva kwabo, bayazibuza enoba eyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yeyokuba abantwana babo baziphathe kakuhle. ukukhwaza, ukohlwaya ngokuqatha, okanye ukubhenela ekutywabeniIngcamango yokuba "impama ngexesha elifanelekileyo" iyimfuneko ukuze abantwana bafunde kudala ithathwa njengento eqhelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, isayikholoji kunye namava eklinikhi abonisa ukuba olu hlobo lokusabela luyavelisa uloyiko, ingqumbo, imvukelo, okanye ukuzithobakodwa hayi ukufunda okunzulu.
Ngalo lonke ixesha sisenza ndlongondlongo (nokuba sikwenza “ngothando” okanye sicinga ukuba okona kulungileyo kubantwana bethu), isigidimi sothando asiphumeleli. Umntwana uyayibona intlungu, ukuthotywa, okanye ukwaliwa, kungekhona uthando. Yiyo loo nto ingcebiso elungileyo ukufundisa ngokuqina nangobubele ngaxeshanye.
Ukuhloniphana phakathi kwabazali nabantwana
Njengomzali okanye umfundisi-ntsapho, ufundisa ukuqina xa uzihlonela kunye nemeko (awukuvumeli ukudelelwa, ukubeka imida, ukunyamekela iimfuno zakho) kwaye ufundisa ububele xa uhlonipha iimfuno kunye nesidima somntwanaUkuhloniphana kusisiseko sobudlelwane obuphilileyo.
Ukungabi nantlonelo akupheleliselwanga kugonyamelo lwasemzimbeni. "Ukubulala kubonakala," ukungazi ngabom, ukukhwaza, amabinzana ahlazisayo anjengokuthi "Yabona? Ndikuxelele njalo," "Kuhlala kufana," okanye ukuphoxisa rhoqo kubuhlungu ngokulinganayo. Zibuze: Ngaba unokuthetha nomphathi wakho, iqabane lakho, okanye umhlobo onjalo? Ukuba impendulo nguhayi, kutheni usithi ewe emntwaneni wakho?
Sihlala siphinda iipatheni kuba yiloo nto esiye sayifumana njengabantwana okanye ngenxa yokuba "ihlala isenziwa ngaloo ndlela." Kodwa namhlanje sinolwazi oluninzi kunye nezixhobo zokuqonda oko Intlonipho ibalulekileXa uqala ukuqaphela oku, iingcamango zakho, iimvakalelo, kwaye ngenxa yoko izenzo zakho zijoliswe ekuhlonipheni umntwana wakho ngaphezu kwayo yonke into, ngaphandle kokuyeka imida.
Xa singabahloneli abantwana, kungakhathaliseki ukuba “sibakhalimela kangakanani na ngothando,” abafundi nantoni na enemveliso. Iingcinga neemvakalelo zabo ziphethukela kwimvukelo, ingqumbo, impindezelo, okanye ukurhoxa (ukuzithoba). Baziva bephantsi ngokuhlala kwihlabathi labantu abadala abathi, ngamaxesha amaninzi, ulisebenzisa kakubi igunya lakhe.
Ukuba ufuna umntwana wakho akuhloniphe, kufuneka uqale ngokumhlonela kuqala. Abantwana bethu bafunda ngokuxelisa; kungakhathaliseki ukuba ubaxelela kangakanani ukuba bakuhlonele, ukuba emva kwemizuzu emibini uyabangxolisa okanye uyabathuka, baya kuwukhumbula loo mfanekiso, abathi kamva bawuvelise nabanye abantu. Ngale ndlela, singaqondanga sibafundisa oko Ukungahloniphi yindlela efanelekileyo yokunxibelelana nabanye..
Ukuqonda eyona njongo emva kokuziphatha
Xa abantwana beziphatha kakubi emehlweni abantu abadala, kubalulekile ukujonga ngaphaya kokuziphatha okubonakalayo. Uqeqesho olulungileyo lumalunga "nokuntywila phantsi komkhenkce": into esiyibonayo (ukukhwaza, ukucaphuka, ukungathobeli) yincam nje. Ngaphantsi kwayo, kukho rhoqo ngakumbi. iimvakalelo, iimfuno, okanye iingcinga ezingahoywanga.
Enye indlela yokuqonda ezi ndlela zokuziphatha kukuzingca kwiimvakalelo okanye iimvakalelo abantwana abazivayo: Ngaba bayoyika? Ngaba baziva begxothiwe kukufika komntakwenu? Ngaba bakhathazekile ngokutshintsha kwesikolo? Ngaba baziva bengafaneleki kwimisebenzi yabo? Ukuthetha nabo ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngalo lonke ixesha kubalulekile ukuze bakwazi ukukhokela ukuziphatha kwaye bafikelele kwisisombululo esinentlonipho.
Xa sinceda umntwana ukuba achaze indlela avakalelwa ngayo ngaphakathi, siyamkhuthaza ngqondweniKwaye sakuba sikwazi ukuphatha umntwana wethu ngentlonipho, siya kube sidala imeko-bume ekhuselekileyo emntwaneni, nto leyo eya kumkhuthaza ukuba aziphathe ngcono kuba nje eziva ngcono.
Unxibelelwano olusebenzayo kunye nokuqinisekiswa kweemvakalelo
Yonke into ebesiyixoxile ukuza kuthi ga ngoku kufuneka isetyenziswe ngonxibelelwano olulungileyo. Ulwimi ludala izinto eziyinyani, kunye nendlela esilusebenzisa ngayo amazwi anentlonipho nacacileyo Kubantwana bethu, inkitha yamathuba aya kuvuleka ukubafundisa ngokuqinileyo nangothando kwangaxeshanye.
Iintsapho ezininzi zivakalelwa kukuba "umntwana wam akandiphulaphuli." Esinye sezitshixo zokufumana umntwana wakho ukuba akuphulaphule kukuba Mphulaphule yena kuqalaKwaye uqinisekisa iimvakalelo zabo nokuba awuvumelani nokuziphatha kwabo. Esikhundleni sokuba "musa ukukhala, akusiyo into enkulu," unokuthi, "Ndiyabona ukuba udabukile / unomsindo, ndixelele ngayo." Ukuqinisekisa akufani nokuvumela nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha; kukuvuma uvakalelo kwaye ibanike izixhobo zokuyilawula ngcono.
Xa siphulaphula ngovelwano, ngaphandle kokugweba, simema abantwana bethu ukuba benjenjalo zicingele Ngoku bayakwazi ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo, kunokuba bavele bathobele okanye bathule ngenxa yokoyika. Oku kuya kubanceda, ekuhambeni kwexesha, ukuba benze izigqibo ezithembekileyo kwaye bakhusele imida yabo ngokungqongqo.
Isayikholoji yabantwana yabazali: ukuqonda ukukhulisa abantwana abangcono
Bonke abazali baye baba nomsindo, ukugqajukelwa ngumsindo, okanye ukuziphatha kakubi kubantwana babo ngaxa lithile. Nangona abazali benze yonke imizamo kwaye baphumeza izicwangciso ezininzi, abantwana abasoloko beziphatha ngendlela elindelekileyo. Apha kulapho ulwazi olusisiseko lwe ngengqondo yomntwana iba ngumhlobo omkhulu.
Njengabantu abadala, abantwana nabo kufuneka bajongane nokuqinisekileyo iingxaki zokuziphatha kunye nobunzima: umona ngenxa yokufika komntakwethu, ukufa komntu othandekayo, iingxabano zentsapho, ukutshintsha izikolo okanye izixeko, ubunzima ngokumalunga nabanye, njl. Ezi meko zichaphazela ngokuthe ngqo ukuziphatha kunye nokuphila kakuhle.
Isayikholoji yabantwana ifunda ngokuziphatha kwabantwana ukususela ekuzalweni ukuya ebutsheni, kugxininiswa kuphuhliso lwabo lomzimba, iimoto, ingqondo, ukuqonda, ukuchaphazeleka kunye nophuhliso lwentlalo. Ithathela ingqalelo impembelelo ye okusingqongileyo kunye nemfuzoUmsebenzi wayo ophambili kukuthintela nokusombulula iingxaki ezinxulumene nempilo yengqondo yabantwana, kodwa ikwabonelela nabazali izikhokelo ezisisiseko zesenzo Yosuku nosuku.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba Ubuntwana abusoloko bufana nolonwabo olupheleleyo okanye ukungabikho kweengxaki. Abantwana nabo bayabandezeleka yaye babandakanyeke kwiimeko ezinzima ezimele ziconjululwe ukuqinisekisa ukuzinza nempilo yabo yengqondo. Ukukhula onwabile, ukuhlonelwa, nokumanyelwa kubalulekile ukuze baphile ubomi bobuntu obufezekileyo.
Xa abazali beziva becinezelekile, benetyala, okanye bengenakuzinceda, ukufuna uncedo kwingcali yezempilo yengqondo kunokuba sisigqibo esihle kakhulu. Oku akuthethi ukuba baye basilela njengabazali, kodwa kunoko fumana izixhobo kunye nenkxaso ukwenza ngcono.
Amacebiso awongezelelekileyo asebenzisekayo okukhulisa abantwana bakho
Ukudibanisa konke oku kungasentla, sinokuqaqambisa ezinye izitshixo eziphathekayo kubomi bemihla ngemihla, ngokusekelwe kumava kunye noko kuphakanyiswa kwengqondo yomntwana.
Mjonge kwaye umazi umntwana wakho
Ukuze ufunde ngezinto ezikhethwa ngabantwana bakho, izinto abazithandayo nabanamandla kuzo, umele uziqwalasele kubomi babo bemihla ngemihla. Bonisa a umdla wokwenene kwinto abayenzayo okanye abayithethayo Iya kukunika ulwazi olubaluleke kakhulu malunga nobuntu babo, amandla abo, kunye neendawo zabo zokuphucula.
Wonke umntwana wahlukile kwaye akanakuthathelwa indawo. Ukufunda isimilo kunye nomlingiswa wabo kuya kukuvumela ukuba wenze ngokweemfuno zabo zokwenyani. Umntwana obuthathaka kakhulu akaphenduli ngendlela efanayo kwithoni erhabaxa njengeyomelele ngakumbi; kufuneka umntwana okhutheleyo iindawo zokuhamba kunye nokukhulula, ngelixa omnye, umntu oneentloni ngakumbi unokufuna inkxaso engakumbi kwiimeko zentlalo.
Yikhathalele indawo ekhula kuyo
Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukuziphatha kunye nesimo sengqondo somntwana siphenjelelwa kakhulu indawo abakhulele kuyoAkunjalo nje ngekhaya, kodwa nangesikolo, ummelwane, imisebenzi yangaphandle, kunye nabantu abasebenzisana nabo.
Indima yakho njengomzali iquka ukudala imeko-bume apho umntwana anokukwazi khona zivakalise ngaphandle koloyikoUkuviwa, ukwenza iimpazamo kwaye ufunde. Ukuzama ukunciphisa ukuchanabeka kwimizekelo yabantu abanobundlongondlongo (ubundlobongela obuhlala buhleli kwiscreens, izithuko, ukuhlatywa phantsi) kunye nokukhuthaza amava akhuthaza intsebenziswano, uvelwano kunye nomdla wokwazi.
Ikhuthaza ukubonakaliswa nokulawulwa kweemvakalelo
Asingabo bonke abantwana abakwaziyo ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo ngendlela efanayo. Abanye bathetha kakhulu, ngelixa abanye bebonisa ukungonwabi ngemizimba yabo (iintlungu, ukudinwa, ukungazinzi) okanye ukuziphatha (ukucaphuka, ukungafuni). Kubalulekile ukubanceda ukukhankanya into abavakalelwa ngayo kwaye ubanike iindlela eziphilileyo zokuyichaza.
Ubugcisa, umdlalo ongokomfuziselo, umzobo, umculo, okanye ukubhala inokuba sisixhobo esilungileyo sokuhambisa iimvakalelo. Xa umntwana wakho ezoba into emkhathazayo okanye enze imeko, bakunika imikhondo malunga nehlabathi labo langaphakathi. Bakhaphe ngentlonipho, ngaphandle kokunyanzelisa nantoni na, kwaye basebenzise njengethuba loku thetha ngento eyenzekayo kuye.
Buza imibuzo evula incoko
Endaweni yokugxila kuphela kwimibuzo evaliweyo ("ngaba yonke into ilungile?", "ubulungile?"), yazisa imibuzo emema umntwana wakho ukuba yabelana ngeengcinga neemvakalelo zakhoUmzekelo: "Yeyiphi eyona nto yayimnandi yosuku?", "Ngaba kukho into ongayithandiyo?", "Ukuba unokutshintsha into malunga nanamhlanje, ingaba yintoni?".
Ezi ntlobo zemibuzo zomeleza unxibelelwano, zikunceda ukuba umqonde ngcono, kwaye umfundise ukuba ngowakhe Uluvo lwakho lubalulekile.Kuphephe imibuzo emide okanye egwebayo; ingcamango kukudala indawo, kungekhona ikona kuye.
Bonisa uvelwano ngaphandle kokulahla imida
Ukuthatha iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho ngokungathí sina akuthethi ukuthi ewe kuyo yonke into okanye ukuvumela ukuziphatha okungafanelekanga isilayidi. Unokuthi, "Ndiyaqonda ukuba ukhathazeke kakhulu ngenxa yokuba awukwazi ukuqhubeka udlala. Ndifumanisa kunzima ukuyeka into endiyithandayo, kodwa ngoku lixesha lokuhamba." Ngale ndlela, ubabonisa uvelwano kwimvakalelo yabo Kwaye ngexesha elifanayo, ugcina umda.
Ukufundisa ngale ndlela kufuna umonde kunye nokungaguquguquki, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha kudala abantwana abazivayo. ihlonitshwa kwaye, ke ngoko, izimisele ngakumbi ukuyihlonipha kwabanye.
Yamkele imida yakho kwaye uzikhathalele
Akukho mzali ufezekileyo. Wonke umntu unamandla (mhlawumbi unothando kakhulu, unobuchule, awuguquguquki) kunye nobuthathaka (mhlawumbi awunamonde, uyasokola ukubeka imida, okanye ufuna kakhulu kuwe). Ukuqaphela oku kukuvumela ukuba misela ulindelo olusengqiqweni Ngokuphathelele wena nabantwana bakho, ngaphandle kokuhlala unetyala.
La ngawona macebiso angcono esinokukunika wona ngendlela yokukhulisa umntwana; kunye neempazamo eziqhelekileyo kwaye kutheni ungafaki uxinzelelo olukhulu kuwe. Ukuba ngumzali luhambo olude, olugcwele imiceli mngeni, kodwa kunye nemivuzo emikhulu: ukubona umntwana wakho ephuhlisa isimilo sakhe, efunda ukunxibelelana nehlabathi, enze iimpazamo, afunde kubo, akhule, kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe abe yeyona nguqulelo ibalaseleyo yakhe ngenxa yokuba nomzali onenkxaso nenkathalo. uthando oluqinileyo, olunentlonipho nolungenamiqathango.
