Ngaba uyayazi loo nto amandla Ngaba sisihlunu sengqondo esinokuqeqeshwa? Abo baqeqesha amandla abo kunokwenzeka ukuba baphile ubomi obonwabisayo kunye nempumelelo.
UGqr. Roy Baumeister, umphandi obalaseleyo kwisayikholoji yezentlalo, uchitha iminyaka engamashumi amathathu yophando kwizifundo zokuzibamba nokuzimisela. Isazi ngengqondo esidumileyo sichaza ngokucacileyo ukuzimisela njenge "Isitshixo sempumelelo kunye nobomi obonwabisayo."
Ngama-60, ugqirha wezentlalo ogama linguWalter Mischel wayenomdla kwindlela abantwana abakwala ngayo ukwaneliseka kwangoko. Yenziwe ulingo oludumileyo lwe-marshmallow ebandakanya ukunika abantwana i-marshmallow kwangoko okanye ezimbini ukuba banokulinda imizuzu eyi-15. Kwiminyaka kamva wafumana abanye babantwana abathathe inxaxheba kolu vavanyo kwaye wenza into emangalisayo.
Into ayifumanisileyo yayikukuba, ethathela ingqalelo umahluko kubukrelekrele, ubuhlanga kunye nodidi lwentlalo, abo bachasayo umnqweno wokutya i-marshmallow kwangoko befuna ukutya ii-marshmallows ezimbini kwimizuzu eyi-15 kamva, abantu abasempilweni, abonwabileyo, nabazizityebi ngokwezimali.
Ngokwahlukileyo, abantwana abaye banikezela kwisilingo banamazinga aphezulu okusilela esikolweni. Baye baba ngabantu abadala abanemisebenzi ehlawula kancinci, baba neengxaki zokutyeba kakhulu, iingxaki zeziyobisi okanye utywala, kwaye baba nobunzima bokugcina ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo (uninzi lwalungabazali abangabodwa). Baphantse baphindaphindwe kane amathuba okuba bafumane isigwebo solwaphulo-mthetho.
Iziphumo zikaMischel zaqinisekiswa luphononongo olwenziwe eNew Zealand.
UBausmister uthi amandla yenye yezinto ezisenza sahluke kwizilwanyana. Isakhono sokulawula iminqweno yethu, uxhathise isilingo, wenze oko kulungileyo kwaye kusilungele ekuhambeni kwexesha kuko okwenza umntu abe nobomi obonelisayo.
Singawaphucula njani amandla ethu okuzimisela?
Njengomsipha ungaqeqesha amandla akho. Ngezenzo ezincinci zemihla ngemihla unokomeleza amandla akho, imizekelo: gcina indlela elungileyo yokuma, thetha usebenzisa izivakalisi ezipheleleyo, ... Njengoko ubona zinjalo umthambo olula ezo ziyinxalenye yobomi bethu bemihla ngemihla. Ukuwukhumbula ngcono umsebenzi owunikiweyo (umzekelo, uthathe isigqibo sokungathethi kakubi nangomntu imini yonke), unokuhlala okanye uphakame nanini na ungakhumbuli. NgokukaBaumister, olu hlobo lokuqinisa luyanceda ukugcina ingqalelo.
Elinye icebiso elilungileyo asinika lona uBaumister ukomeleza amandla akhe kukuba sukuzama ukwenza izinto ezininzi ngaxeshanye. Misela imikhwa elungileyo kunye neendlela ezingadinisi amandla akho. Funda indlela yokwenza uluhlu lwezinto eziza kwenziwa.
Sukuzibeka esilingweni Kwaye ukuba akanakukunceda, yenza kube nzima kuwe ukuba unikezele kuko.
Oku kufana kwamandla emisipha kuthetha ukuba kunokubakho iimpawu zokudinwa. Ukujongana nolu hlobo lweempawu zokudinwa, inqanaba elifanelekileyo kakhulu linokwamkelwa eliqukethe thatha iswekile eninzi. Ukuze kubekho amanqanaba eswekile emzimbeni wakho, kufuneka ulale kwaye utye kakuhle.
UBaumister ukhankanya "umboniso omangalisayo" wempikiswano yeswekile: isifundo sibonise ukuba iijaji zase-Israeli ekwakufuneka benze isigqibo esinzima nesinovakalelo malunga nokuba bangaliniki parole ibanjwa elithile, bakhethe ukuthatha isigqibo (kwi-65% yamatyala) emva kwesidlo sasemini.
Ngaba likuncedile eli nqaku? Kutheni ufuna ukomeleza amandla akho?