Ukulingana kwabasetyhini kufike ngokukhawuleza kunye nemida kwi-100 leminyaka edlulileyo. Nangona kunjalo, zisekhona izithintelo ezibekwe kwabasetyhini kokubini luluntu kwaye, ngokumangalisayo, nangabanye abafazi. Amanye amabinzana aneengcambu kuluntu lwethu, afana nokuncoma kunye nemibuzo, eneneni alungile.
Ulwimi lubumba iinkolelo kunye nemikhwa: into esiyiphindayo ngaphandle kokucinga inokuba yinto eqhelekileyo. Kwiimeko apho i-machismo yenkcubeko iqhubeka, I-micromachism ivela ezikhuthaza ukungalingani, nokuba kubonakaliswa ngeendlela ezichuliweyo. Nkqu namadoda achatshazelwa ziingcamango ezifuna ukuqina okanye impumelelo eqhubekayo; kodwa apha siza kugxininisa iintetho phakathi kwabasetyhini ezijongela phantsi ukuzithemba, ukuthobela kunye nenkululeko, kunye nendlela yokubuyisela iindlela ezinempilo. Masiyikhumbule kwakhona loo nto ubufazi bukulingana: Ayisiyonto ichasene ne-machismo okanye i-trend, kodwa kunoko ukukhusela amalungelo alinganayo kunye namathuba.
Jonga la mabinzana asi-8 abafazi mabayeke ukuthi omnye komnye.
1) "Ulibale ngaye ... umhle ngakumbi."
Uninzi lwabafazi bathetha oku ngeenjongo ezilungileyo. Mhlawumbi iqabane lomhlobo wakho belingathembekanga kuye. Bafuna ukonwabisa umhlobo wabo kwaye babeke uncumo ebusweni bakhe, kodwa Banika ixabiso eligqithisileyo kubuhleOku kuthetha ukuba abafazi bayakhuphisana, kwaye ubuhle buphawu lwempumelelo yabasetyhini. Oku akuyonyani kwaphela.
Kwakhona, qinisekisa Okanye ukulinganisa ixabiso ngenkangeleko yomzimba kusirhintyela kwipatheni efanayo esiyigxekayo. Enye indlela yovelwano iya kuba: qinisekisa iimvakalelo kwaye uqaphele iimpawu ezingezizo ezomzimba ezifana nokomelela, ukuhlekisa, ukuxabiseka, okanye ukuzimela.
2) "Ngaba ulahlekelwe isisindo? Ukhangeleka kakhulu!"
Ngaphandle kokuba omnye umfazi uzama ukunciphisa umzimba, Ukuncoma akufuneki zidibaniswe nobunzima bomzimbaOku kunokukhokelela abasetyhini ukuba bakholelwe ukuba ukuzithemba kwabo kuxhomekeke kubunzima babo.
Nokuba kukho utshintsho olubonakalayo, ukuvavanya kuphela isikali someleza indawo apho inkangeleko igubungela impilo okanye impumelelo. Zama ukungathathi hlangothi, indumiso ezinzileyo: amandla, isimo sengqondo, umgudu, okanye ukuphila kakuhle. Ngale ndlela, siyakuphepha ukwenza uthelekiso oluyingozi kunye noxinzelelo lobuhle.
3) "Ubhityile kakhulu, yitya ihamburger!"
Oku kuthetha njengengcebiso, kodwa abafazi abaninzi kunzima ukufumana ubunzima, kwaye ukuxelelwa ukuba kufuneka batyebe kwezi zinto kunokuba yingozi kakhulu kwaye kuyacaphukisa.
Kanye njengezimvo malunga nokufumana ubunzima, ukunika uluvo malunga nemizimba yabanye abantu Ngaphandle kwemvume, iyahlasela. Ukwahluka komzimba kukho: impilo kunye nolonwabo azibonakali ngaphandle. Ukuhlonipha loo mda komeleza ukuthembana kunye nobudade.
4) "Abafana bakhetha olu hlobo lomzimba."
Kwakhona sibeka a ixabiso eligqithisileyo kubuhle nomfanekiso womzimba, ukuthoba ezinye iimpawu ezinjengobukrelekrele, uburharha okanye ukuba ngumntu olungileyo.
Ukumisela imigangatho yobuhle bebhinqa kunokuba yingozi kakhulu. Eyona nto iphambili ekufuneka uyenzile kukuba usempilweni kwaye wonwabe emzimbeni wakho.
Ezi ntlobo zemiyalezo zijika abafazi zibe zizinto zokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle. Masitshintshe imbono yethu: ukhetha ntoni ngawe, yintoni ekwenza uzive ulungile. Lo mbuzo uyawususa ugxininiso ekubeni kukuvunywa kwamadoda uye ku ukuzamkela.
Ndizokushiya ividiyo emfanelayo njengeglavu okwangoku. Ibizwa ngokuba sisihloko "Iingcamango zobuhle zijongela phantsi ukuzithemba kwakho":
5) "Utshata nini?"
Ngaba kunyanzelekile na ukuba uxinzelelo kumbandela ontununtunu ngolu hlobo? Kuthekani ukuba utshata ngenxa yoxinzelelo lwentlalo ngaphandle kokuqiniseka ngokupheleleyo?
Umtshato uyazikhethela Yaye abafazi abaninzi abanamdla wobuqu wokutshata. Oku kunokwenza abasetyhini bazive benyanzelekile ukuba bathethelele isigqibo sabo.
Iintetho ezifana "ixesha lakho liza kudlula"okanye "awunakuze ufumane umyeni onjalo" qinisa iindima zesini eziphelelwe lixesha. Endaweni yoko, qinisekisa isicwangciso sobomi bomntu ngamnye kwaye ubuze into oyifunayo ngokwenene ngaphandle kokubeka amaxesha okanye iifomati.
6) "Uzakuba nomntwana nini?"
Lo ngowona mbuzo mibi ukubuza umntu wasetyhini. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba enze esidlangalaleni ukuba kutheni engengomama. Inokuba kungenxa yokuba awufuni, awunakho okanye awuqinisekanga ngobuhlobo bakho.
Ukuthatha isigqibo sokuba ngumama sisigqibo esibaluleke kakhulu kwaye Amanye amabhinqa akhetha ukungabi nabantwanaOlu lukhetho lobuqu olungadingi kuthethelelwa.
Ukuba ngumama akuchazi ixabiso lomntu. Izimvo ezifana "ufuna isoka"okanye" kufuneka ube ngumama "uqhubela phambili ingcamango yokuba ubomi obupheleleyo buxhomekeke kuyo ukuhlangabezana nolindelo lwabanye abantu. Kungcono ukukhapha ngaphandle kwesigwebo.
7) "Abafazi bayaphambana."
Uninzi lwezinto eziqhelekileyo azichanekanga kwaye oku akunjalo. Ezi ntlobo zeengxelo zenza umfanekiso ongalunganga wabafazi. Luluvo olubi nolungachanekanga.
Iithegi ezifana "hysterical"okanye "mhlawumbi usexesheni" zisetyenziselwa ukugunyazisa iimvakalelo kunye nezimvo. Cela umngeni kwezi ngcamango zikhoyo: Ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo akubobuthathaka kwaye ayifuni mvume.
8) "Kutheni uwedwa?"
Lo mbuzo undikhumbuza inombolo 6. Ngaba ngenene umfazi kufuneka azithethelele ngokuba kutheni egqibe ekubeni angabinalo iqabane?
Akukho ukuzithemba komntu kubotshelelwe ekubeni unaye okanye akanaye iqabane. Zininzi izizathu ezibalaseleyo zokungabi kubudlelwane. Akunyanzelekanga kobu bomi ukuba neqabane.
Amabinzana afana "sukuphuma kade"okanye"abafazi abathuki"Bakwalawula indlela yokuziphatha. Ukuhlonipha izigqibo zabantu abadala kuyomeleza inkululeko kunye nemida ngokobuqu.
Amabinzana aqhelekileyo phakathi kwabasetyhini ekufuneka bagxothwe
- "Ukhangeleka umhle xa uthe cwaka.": iyalithulisa ilizwi kunye nokuthatha inxaxheba. Ukulingana kufuna mamela kwaye uhloniphe kuluvo lomntu.
- "Unxibe njengeslut": abagwebi kunye neentlobano zesini. Isinxibo asichazi isidima okanye ukunika imvume; ityala yomeleza inkcubeko yodlwengulo.
- "Mhlawumbi unyuselwe ngokulala nomntu.": izijongela phantsi iimfanelo. Uyaqaphela italente kunye nomzamo kwaye ibhentsisa imikhethe yokwenyani ngaphandle kokuhlasela ixhoba.
- "Igugile kakubi" nokuba"uye watyeba": Ubeka amabala iinkqubo zendalo. Ubeka phambili impilo, intlalontle kunye nesicwangciso sobomi kwimigangatho engenakwenzeka.
- "Amantombazana akhulile ngaphambili": thethelela iimfuno ezingalunganga kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kwangoko. Ukuvuthwa kuxhomekeke umntu ngamnye, hayi isini.
- "Umfazi emva kwevili, ingozi eqhubekayo": intsomi engenasiseko eqinisayo ukungakwazi ukwenza umsebenzi ongeyonyaniKuphephe ukwenza iziqhulo ezithoba isidima.
- "Imidlalo yevidiyo yeyamakhwenkwe": imida kwizinto zokuzonwabisa kunye namabizo. Iyanyusa inkululeko yomdla ngaphandle kweelebhile.
- "Akukho machismo okanye ubufazi, ukulingana": lilinganisa iikhonsepthi ezichaseneyo. Ubufazi bukhusela amalungelo afanayo; machismo, ukongama kwamadoda.
- "Asifani sonke" isetyenziselwa ukwenza izikhalazo zibe zingasebenzi: ishenxisa ujoliso lwengxaki. Ngcono qaphela kwaye ulungise izenzo.
- "Akahlonitshwa": utyhola ixhoba ngesinxibo okanye ukuziphatha kwalo. intlonipho ayinamiqathango.
- "Lowo ufuna i-fuck elungileyo.": wenza ukungonwabi kwaye uyaphika impilo yengqondo kunye neemvakalelo.
- "Unyana/intombi ka-..." okanye izithuko ezibhekiselele kubafazi: ukubaphepha kunciphisa misogyny mihla le ngolwimi.
Ukuba uweva la mabinzana kwindawo okuyo, ungacebisa uhlaziyo: Kunokuba niwugwebe umzimba, thethani ngezakhono; endaweni yokuthandabuza ukhetho lobomi, cela ukukhapha; xa ujongene nehlaya lokwabelana ngesondo, chaza impembelelo yalo ngaphandle kokuhlasela umntu.
Ngowuphi kule mibuzo okanye amabinzana owuthiye kakhulu? elinye ibinzana elingacetyiswanga kakuhleShiya uluvo lwakho.
Ukuba ulithandile eli nqaku, cinga ngokwabelana ngalo nabantu abasondeleyo kuwe. Ndiyabulela kakhulu ngenkxaso yakho.[imephu]
Ukwakha inkcubeko yobuzalwane kubandakanya misela imida kulwimi oluyingozi kunye nokwenza ezinye iindlela ezibhiyozela iyantlukwano, ukuzimela, kunye nentlonipho. Ukutshintsha into esiyithethayo kutshintsha into esiyicingayo, kunye nayo, into esiyamkelayo.