Liyeza ixesha lokuba sonke sijongane nento esiyibizayo "umandlalo wokufa". Lo mzuzu wokugqibela ulayishiwe zi khankanya, ibhalansi kunye iimvakalelo ezinzulu njengentlungu, ukuzola okanye ukuzingca. Abantu abaninzi bajonga lo mzuzu njengethuba lokuphonononga ubomi babo kunye nezigqibo abazenzileyo. Kwimeko yam, kwaye ndicinga ngaloo mini ingenakuthintelwa, ndiqulunqe uthotho lweengcinga endinethemba lokuba ziya kundikhapha kwaye zindenze ndizive ndinelunda ngohambo lwam.
Iingcinga endinethemba lokuzikhumbula ngosuku lwam lokugqibela
Ngezantsi ndabelana ngeengcinga ezilithoba endiziqwalaselayo izitshixo ukuba ndijamelane nokhuko lwam lokufa ngolwaneliseko. Ezinye zizigqibo ezingaphaya kwengqondo, ezinye ziyinxalenye yawona maxesha olonwabo ebomini bam. Ayinguye wonke umntu onokuqonda okanye abelane ngazo, kodwa ndiqinisekile ukuba uya kuba neengcinga zakho ezikhethekileyo ezichaza ubukho bakho.
- Ukwahlukana no “ex” wam: Esi siganeko saphawula ngaphambi nasemva kobomi bam. Nangona ekuqaleni kwakubuhlungu, kwandinceda ndizikhulule kwiimpembelelo ezimbi kwaye yandivumela ukuba ndiphinde ndiqhagamshelane nam. Ngelo xesha, ndandiqonda ukuba abantu abasingqongileyo banempembelelo enkulu kulonwabo lwethu, kwaye ukuthatha isigqibo sokuzikhwebula kwabo bangenalo igalelo ngokufanelekileyo sisenzo senkalipho kunye nokuzithanda.
- Musa ukukhumbula amaxesha angenanto: Xa ndikhangela emva, ndiyazi ukuba andisayi kuyenza ibaluleke iminyaka yobutsha endayichitha kwizinto ezingenamsebenzi okanye kubantu abangeyomfuneko. Ezi zihlandlo, nangona ziyinxalenye yenkqubo yam yokufunda, aziyi kuba nobunzima obaneleyo bokuvala indlela endiyakhileyo kamva.
- IZifundo zeMveliso: Andizi kuzisola ngeeyure ezilahlekileyo imisebenzi ngaphandle kwexabiso lokwenyani. Nangona kunjalo, la mava andifundise ukubeka phambili, ukuqonda ukuba ixesha lelona sixhobo sethu sixabisekileyo kwaye kufuneka silityale kwizinto ezibaluleke kakhulu.
- Mhla ndagqiba kwelokuba ndingabuthatheli nzulu ubomi ngolu hlobo: Esi sigqibo saphawula utshintsho. Ndafunda ukunandipha ixesha langoku, ukujamelana nobunzima ngoburharha nokuphila lula. Ndandiqonda ukuba amaxesha amaninzi, uxinezeleko kunye nobunzulu obugqithisileyo kuyasihlutha amaxesha axabisekileyo.
- Ixabiso lobuntwana: Ndiya kuzikhumbula ngovuyo iintsuku zobuntwana bam: ukudlala nabahlobo bam, amadolo amdaka epakini, uthando lokuqala olungenatyala, kunye neemvakwemini ezingapheliyo zokuhlola. Ezi nkumbulo zi ubuncwane endikuxabisa kakhulu.
- Ukuzingca ngokuchasa langoku: Iimbono nezigqibo endizenzileyo ezingathandwayo, phezu kwako nje ukungaqondwa kwabaninzi, zandichaza njengomntu. Ukukhusela iinjongo zam kunye nokunyaniseka kum yimvakalelo enethemba lokuyikhumbula ngokwanelisayo.
- Ubuhle bokungavumelekanga: Ezo zihlandlo zincinane zemvukelo, ezo zonikelo ezafunyanwa ngokuqatha, zazingumthombo wokufunda nolonwabo. Ndandiqonda ukuba ngamanye amaxesha into engalindelekanga kunye nokuba nesibindi kubalulekile ukuze ube nobomi obupheleleyo.
- Ukwahlukana ngemali: Ndiyazingca ngokuyeka ukugxininisa imali njengeyona nto iqhuba ubomi bam. Nangona kuyimfuneko, andizange ndiyibeke phambili ngaphezu kwemilinganiselo yam, ubudlelwane bam, okanye ukuthanda kwam.
- Ukuvalelisa okunyanisekileyo: Xa ndijonga emehlweni abo ndibathandayo, ndiye ndikwazi ukuthi “sokubonana kamva,” ndisazi ukuba bendisoloko ndinyanisekile yaye ndinesisa kubo. Le ngcinga yimbonakaliso yobomi obuphilwa ngothando nentsingiselo.
Izifundo zokubonisa jikelele kwimizuzu yokugqibela
Uphando kwi iingcinga zokufa, ezifana nezo zenziwe nguBronnie Ware, umongikazi wokunyamekela, zigxininisa ezona zinto zintlanu ziqhelekileyo ukuzisola phakathi kwabantu ekupheleni kweentsuku zabo. Ezi ngongoma zandisa ukuqonda kwethu oko kubaluleke ngokwenene ebomini:
- Ndinqwenela ukuba bendinesibindi sokuphila ubomi obunyanisekileyo kum, ingebubo obulindelwe ngabanye kum.
- Akwaba ndandisebenze kancinane ukuze ndinandiphe ixesha elingakumbi nabantu endibathandayo.
- Akwaba bendinenkalipho yokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zam ngokunyanisekileyo.
- Ndiyazisola ngokungahlali ndinxibelelana nabahlobo bam abasenyongweni.
- Ndingathanda ukuzivumela ukuba ndonwabe ngakumbi, ngaphandle kokuhlehlisa uncumo kunye namaxesha ovuyo.
Oku kuzisola kusibonisa ukubaluleka kokuphila ngokwenyani, ukuhlakulela ubudlelwane bokwenyani, kunye nokubeka phambili oko kubalulekile kubomi bethu.