Ngaba ukugqibelela kulungile okanye ngaba kunemiqobo yayo? Ndicacile kule nto. Kukho iindidi ezimbini zokugqibelela: i-neurotic kunye nempilo. Namhlanje ndiza kukhankanya ngokufutshane izinto ezingalunganga ezintandathu ze-neurotic perfectionism:
Ukufuna ukugqibelela: Ingcaciso, Iintlobo, kunye naxa Iba yingxaki
Kumanqanaba aphakathi kunokuba eguqukayo: Ikhuthaza ingqalelo kwiinkcukacha kunye nomzamo ozinzileyo. Nangona kunjalo, xa ukuzifuna kuba yi-axis ye ukuzixabisa kunye nemigangatho engafikelelekiyo ilandelwa phezu kwayo nje imiphumo, sithetha ngayo ukugqibelela kwekliniki. Lo mzekelo unxulunyaniswa ne ukungonwabi komntu, umsebenzi kunye nobunzima bentlalo, kunye nomngcipheko okhulayo weempawu ezifana uxhalaba, umoya ophantsi kunye kulala. la Unyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT) Lungenelelo lokuqala ukunciphisa ukuqina kwemigangatho kunye nefuthe leemvakalelo.
Ukufuna ukugqibelela kunokuchazwa ngokweziqhelaniso: ozimiseleyo (ukufuna kuwe), emiselweyo ekuhlaleni (inkolelo yokuba abanye bafuna imfezeko) kunye ejolise kwezinye (bafuna imfezeko kwimo engqongileyo). Ukongeza, kukho umahluko phakathi kwe ukusukela ukugqwesa kunye ukuphepha ukusilela; le yokugqibela inxulunyaniswa nokuxhalaba ngakumbi, ukuvaleka, kunye nokudinwa.
Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo kunye nezinto ezinobungozi
- Imfuno ephezulu kunye nawe kunye nabanye, usukelo olungenakufikeleleka.
- Ubungqongqo, ukunyamezela okuphantsi kokungaqiniseki kunye nephutha, ukucinga yonke okanye akukho nto.
- Ukuthwala uxanduva, ukusebenza iiyure ezininzi kunokuba kuyimfuneko, kunzima ukwabela abanye umsebenzi.
- Uloyiko lokusilela, ukutyekela eku ukuzijongela phantsi kunye nokukhangela rhoqo ukuvunywa.
- Ukuxatyiswa okuphezulu kwe ucwangco, ucoceko nokubamba ixesha njengenqobo yokuxabisa umntu.
Ukungalungi kwe-neurotic perfectionism
1) Ukuhla kwemveliso.
Batyekele ekusebenziseni gwenxa umthetho-siseko wePareto, Oko kukuthi, banikezele ngama-20% kumzamo wethu wokuvelisa iipesenti ezingama-80 zeziphumo zethu. Benza ngenye indlela ejikeleze: banikezela i-80% yemizamo yabo yokuvelisa i-20% yeziphumo zabo.
Oku kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba ingqalelo igxininisekile iimpazamo ezincinci kunye nokuchukumisa okungabonakaliyo, okuxuba i ukusebenza ngempumelelo kunye nokulibazisa ukuhanjiswa. Ubungqina bubonisa ukuba akukho ubudlelwane obucacileyo phakathi kokugqibelela kunye ukusebenza: Ukufuna ngaphezulu akuqinisekisi iziphumo ezingcono.
2) Ukuzibekela amangomso izinto.
Kulindelwe ukufumana esona sisombululo sisiso, umxholo kunye nomzuzu ogqibeleleyo wokwenza into apho ukwenziwa kwayo kuhlala kulibaziseka.
3) iMyopia.
Njengoko babanjwa ziinkcukacha ezincinci, umfanekiso omkhulu kunye nesicatshulwa sezinto zilahlekile.
Ukuxinga kwiinkcukacha eziseleyo imbono yesicwangciso, yenza kube nzima ukubeka phambili kwaye ichaphazela ukulungelelanisa kunye namaqela afuna izigqibo ngexesha elifanelekileyo.
4) Ukuma okumileyo.
Abafuna ukugqibelela bayafakwa kwirejimeni yokwenza izinto ngendlela ethile. Oku kubaphange amathuba amaninzi okukhula.
Ukuqina kuthintela amava kwaye wamkele i ukuphindaphinda njengendlela yokuphucula. Ngaphandle kovavanyo kunye nempazamo akukho tshintsho okanye uphuhliso lwezakhono ze yiba nobuchule ngakumbi.
5) Imeko embi yezempilo kunye nokuba sempilweni kwengqondo.
Bahlala bezabalaza kwitonela leemvakalelo ezingalunganga kwaye bancama ubuthongo babo ngenxa yomsebenzi.
Zivela rhoqo uxhalaba, umoya ophantsi, kulala kunye ne-somatizations (intloko, ukuphazamiseka kwesisu). Ukongeza, yinto yokuba sesichengeni kwiimeko ezifana ukuxinezeleka, ukuphazamiseka kokuxhalaba kunye nokubonakaliswa okunyanzelekileyo.
6) Ukonakala kobudlelwane boluntu.
Ukungaguquguquki kwabo kwenza kube nzima kubo ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo nabanye abantu.
Kumaqela abonwa njengawo ebalulekileyo okanye ukunganyamezeli. Izifundo kunye noogxa zibonisa ukuba abantu bakhetha ukusebenzisana nabantu be izinto ezilindelekileyo, njengoko beququzelela imozulu kunye nentsebenziswano.
Impembelelo kwimpilo kunye nokusebenza
Ngaphandle kokudinwa, i-neurotic perfectionism inokugcina ukukhathazeka rhoqo, ukukrazula y ukuphepha yempazamo. Kuye kwanxulunyaniswa neengxaki ezifana utshe waphela, ubunzima bokuphumla, kunye nokuzonwabisa okuncinci kwimisebenzi eyonwabisayo. Kwangaxeshanye, ukubeka yonke inzame yakho “ekuqinisekiseni ukuba akukho kusilela” kukutyeshela ubudlelwane neqela kwaye iphazamisa inkuthazo.
Ukuqala njani ukuyilawula
Indlela eluncedo kukwenza izinto zibe bhetyebhetye imigangatho kunye nokunyamezela iimpazamo zikaloliwe: beka phambili i inkqubela phambili malunga nokugqibelela, ukulinganisa ixabiso nge inkqubo kwaye kungekhona nje ngenxa yesiphumo, kwaye uziqhelanise "nokutyhila" okuncinci kokungafezeki ukujonga ukuba akukho nto iyingozi eyenzekayo. I-TCC Kuyanceda ukubuza iinkolelo eziqinileyo, ukunciphisa ukuphepha, kunye nokulungelelanisa iinjongo kunye nemilinganiselo. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ukuzifuna kuyakongamela okanye kuphazamisana nobomi bakho, funa uvavanyo lobungcali ukuyila isicwangciso sonyango esisebenzayo.
Xa ukuthanda ukugqibelela kusetyenziselwa ukukhuthaza ukugqwesa-kunye neenjongo eziphezulu kodwa eziguquguqukayo, ukuvuleleka ekufundeni, kunye nokugxila kwintlalontle-yongeza iziphumo; xa isiba ngqongqo kwaye sisohlwaya, sinciphisa imveliso, sichaphazela impilo, kwaye sipholisa ubudlelwane. Ukukhetha i indlela enempilo Inokwenzeka kwaye iqala lungisa ukujonga kwakho, kungekhona ngokusebenza ngakumbi.