Ngaphambi kokuba ubone ezi ngcebiso zikhawulezayo zili-11 zokuzikhathalela, Ndiyakumema ukuba ubukele le vidiyo ngu-Elsa Punset apho asibonisa indlela esinokuthi sizinyamekele ngayo ngendlela ebonakalayo ngokwenza imithambo ayicebisayo.
Kule vidiyo, uElsa usixelela ukuba hayi kuphela Sifuna umntu wokusihoya sisebancinci., kukwayimfuneko ukuba sifunde ukuzinyamekela xa sibadala:
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Ukuzikhathalela: yintoni kwaye kutheni ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukubeka phambili.
Ukuzikhathalela Yiseti yezenzo eziqaphelayo okhusela ngazo impilo yakho yomzimba, yeemvakalelo, yentlalontle, yokomoya neyengqondo. Ibandakanya mamela wena, ziqonde iimfuno zakho kwaye uphendule ngemikhwa ekugcina imihla ngemihla. Kwipsychology, ukuzinyamekela kungundoqo kuba kuyakhuthaza ukuzamkela kunye nokuzithemba, kubangela isangqa esilungileyo: kokukhona ungcono, ngcono uzinakekele kwabo bakungqongileyo.
Xa ungazikhathaleli, iziphumo zihlala zivela: ukuzigxeka kakhulu, imvakalelo yokungonelanga, ukucinga ngezinto ezidluleyo okanye ukuxhalaba ngekamva kunye a Ukuphulukana nolawulo malunga nobomi bakho. Ukuba oku kuvakala kuqhelekile, awuwedwa: abantu abaninzi bazibekel’ ecaleni iimfuno zabo ngenxa yoxanduva losapho, umsebenzi, okanye ngenxa yomkhwa.
Kuqhelekile nokuba kubenzima kuba sibhidanisa ukuzikhathalela nokuzicingela. Enyanisweni, ngu isenzo sokuzithanda: Njengakwinqwelomoya, unxiba imaski ngaphambi kokuba uncede abanye. Funda ukuyeka, phumla kwaye udlale, mamela umzimba, ukuhambisa ngakumbi kwaye uphinde udibanise nendalo, unciphisa uxinzelelo kwaye ukhuthaze ukuzola nokucaca.
Ndikushiya nezi ngcebiso zimfutshane zili-11 zokuzikhathalela:
- Funda ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho. Musa ukuzigcina ngaphakathi; wabelane ngazo usizi kunye nokuphoxeka nomntu omthembileyo uyakhulula kwaye womeleze amaqhina.
- Kuphephe ukuzithelekisa nabanye. Umntu ngamnye unesingqi sakhe; zithelekise nawe ukulinganisa inkqubela yakho.
- Yenza iqela elincinci labantu onokuthi ubhenele kuyo ukufumana inkxaso yeemvakalelo kunye neengcebiso xa uyifuna.
- Thatha ixesha lokuzonwabisa. Izinto zokuzilibazisa zikhona ukuze uziva ulungile kwaye uhlaziye amandla akho.
- Ungalibali ukuhleka. Khangela ezihlekisayo ukhulise ukukhanya ngeenxa zonke kuwe.
- Funda ukuphumla. Iincwadi, iiaudios, iiklasi okanye abahlohli banokukunceda. Ukuphumla kuphucula ingqondo kwaye ikhuthaza umzimba olungeleleneyo.
- Funda ukuthi "hayi." Misela imida kwizinto ezilindelweyo okanye kwizicelo akukho ngqiqweni; khusela ixesha namandla akho.
- Guqula imisebenzi ukuba awuziva ukhululekile ukuyenza. Jonga ukuba ikulingana nawe kwaye ugxile kwintoni ukuba uyayithanda; wonke umsebenzi unamalungu ambalwa amnandi.
- Yenza ukusetyenziswa. Hamba, khwela ibhayisekile, thatha izitebhisi. Yiba esebenzayo ngakumbi kubomi bemihla ngemihla sisiseko esihle.
- Zama ukunceda abanye. Ukwenza okulungileyo kuyingenelo nakubo isitayile.
- Nika ingqalelo kubomi bakho bomoya. Hlala phantsi, uhlale uthe cwaka, mamela ilizwi lakho ilizwi elingaphakathi kwaye ulandele indlela yakho ukuba akukho nkolo iyanelisayo.
Imikhwa kunye nezixhobo ezisebenzayo zokugcina impilo yakho ilungile
Bandakanya umzuzu wemihla ngemihla ukwenzela wenaImizuzu embalwa yokuphefumla, ukuzolula, okanye ukuthula kuyitshintsha ithoni yosuku. Ziqhelise Ukuhamba (ukubhala ngonyango) ukuchonga iimfuno, iimvakalelo kunye neepateni; ngale ndlela, ungamamela ngokwakho ngaphandle kohluzo.
Qaphela iziseko nge Isiqhelo sobuhlobo: ukutya okunokulinganisela, ukuhanjiswa kwamanzi, ukwenza umthambo rhoqo, kunye nokucoceka kokulala kakuhle. Funda incwadi entle, thatha uhambo kwindalo, dibana nabahlobo, zivumele ukuba uthenge loo nto ilula ikwenza ube nemincili. Zijikeleze ngobudlelwane obunjalo yongeza wena.
Lawula ingqondo yakho ngeendlela eziqinisekisiweyo. Ukusuka kwi-CBT: chonga iimeko ezithoba umoya wakho, jonga yakho incoko yangaphakathi, buza iingcamango ezizenzekelayo (zonke okanye akukho nto, izihlungi ezingalunganga) kwaye ubeke endaweni yazo ngokutolika esengqiqweni ngakumbi kunye novelwano. Ukusuka UMTHETHO: uyaqaphela kwaye thatha umgama yeengcinga, bamkele ubukho babo ngaphandle kokulwa nabo kwaye ukhethe ukwenza ngokweyakho xabiso.
Ukuba uyasokola ngokuzibeka phambili, khumbula ukuba abantu abaninzi (ingakumbi abanonopheli) bathatha imithwalo eyongezelelweyo: beka imida, nxibelelana ngokucacileyo, gcina ixesha elibalulekile kwaye ukucela inkxaso ziintsika zokuzikhathalela.
Ukuzikhathalela ukuze unakekele ngcono abanye: ubudlelwane kunye noncedo lobuchwephesha
Ukuzikhathalela ukwandisa ukukwazi kwakho ukukhathalela kwabanye abantu. Khetha ubudlelwane obubuyisela ixesha kunye nothando, mamela ngaphandle kwesigwebo, kunye Yibakho Kuba lula xa amandla akho ekhathalelwe.
Mamela umzimba wakho: ngamanye amaxesha siba entlokweni yethu ukuba singaqapheli ukudinwa, indlala okanye uxinzeleloUkuma, ukuphumla, kunye nokudlala kondla amandla. shukuma ikhupha rhoqo uloyiko kunye noxinzelelo kwaye ikudibanisa noko uziva ulungile kuwe.
Phinda uqhagamshelane nendalo kunye ne ngakumbi izingqi zomntu; kuya kukunceda ukulawula ukulala kunye noxinzelelo. Khangela amava akwenza uzive ukhululekile. ukuvumelana (umculo owuthandayo, ukuyila, ukwabelana, ukuhleka) kwaye uqaphele ukuba zeziphi iimeko ezikuvumela ukuba uziphindaphinde.
Ukuba uyaludinga, funa uncedo lwengcali. Inkqubo yezengqondo inokukunika herramientas ukomeleza ukuzithemba, ukwenza izixhobo zisebenze, kwaye ubuyele kumbindi wobomi bakho. Gcwalisa oku ngemikhwa enempilo: ukuhamba iintsuku ezininzi, yitya ngcono, ukunciphisa ukutya okucutshungulwayo kakhulu kwaye unikezele ixesha kwimisebenzi oyithandayo nabantu abakuphatha kakuhle.
Ukuziqhelanisa nokuzikhathalela akuyonto ilula: ku isigqibo semihla ngemihla que ukuphucula impilo yakho iyonke, ubudlelwane bakho kunye nokucaca kwakho ukukhetha indlela ofuna ukuphila ngayo.